Grateful for Our Angel Paxton

I'm so excited to post today. Our hearts have been so full this THANKSGIVING. I'm amazed at the blessings that have been ours this year. Of all of the learning, growth, awakening, appreciating, accepting, and enduring we have all experienced. We have been such recipients of great love... Of others' service, support, and prayers, and of our own little bundle of joy and the love he expresses and engenders. We have been blessed with capable and experienced doctors, nurses, and specialists. We have great insurance! We have the best family in the world, helping somewhat almost everyday. Caring neighbors and friends checking in constantly. Technology that can keep our son alive (and loads of electricity to power it)! Grateful for a shower. To walk down to get the mail. For yummy food. My fireplace. Hot chocolate. Heat. My boys! My hubby. Our family family family. And of course I hate to be cheesy or over-expressing of it all, but I am so grateful for the scriptures, and for my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I'm amazed at the the Plan and the all encompassing power, healing, and love they bestow. Trials are always hard but are so good, too, even when you are in them. I have loved coming closer to Them and knowing Them better, myself better, and learning how They can help us do all things... Amazing!!! Amazing the trust they place in us, but even better than that, how They help us to do whatever they ask of us. I have harder days ahead but do believe nothing is impossible. Hard, tiring? Yes. I always get caught in the anxiety and fear of being physically left alone to handle all of this, which I don't need to do until it happens, but even then, I just need to constantly remind myself I will NEVER BE ALONE. It's hard to wrap my head around that concept sometimes but I have had even small moments already where I have learned how powerful that is. As much as another pair of hands, His comfort and understanding are enough to get me through, and even more than that, to revitalize me.

So I am one blessed mama. Paxton continues to do well at home, adjusting to our new "fluora" of germs that are different at home than in the hospital; tolerating therapy and noise and other activities here fairly well. Yes, he has his hard moments and days, too, and times I think maybe he is getting sick. But overall, he is still here and not at the hospital or somewhere else so so far it's a home run!

Last night I was able to finish something I have been working on for a while (since well before Paxton came home). Something I've only been able to chip away at here and there when all of the kids have been taken care of (rare...this requires 2 other adults to be with the other children) or asleep. I have always loved photography and my own version of making videos. It started in high school. And while most of the pictures I have taken these last 5 months have been anything but professional and perfectly lit, they have been meaningful. Many are just with our phones. But it doesn't matter. I wanted to make something for our family that would summarize a bit of this time of Paxton's life. His story. What he has been through and overcome. He is a champ and inspiration in all regards. Not just superman, but a true hero to us. We could make a poster about him! What a fighter. With such a noble and valiant spirit. I almost feel guilty he was sent to us. That we get such a blessing of having him in our family to teach us everyday. His brothers love and look up to him and besides his physical 'owies', don't know anything is different about him. As far as I'm concerned, I'm not sure I believe there is either. He keeps defying the odds everyday. Now that I am home with him and doing things I have done with my other babies (Thank Heaven!!), I feel, in many ways, he is just like my other babies were. With that said, it will always be okay with me if he is not. I am happy for every achievement and normalcy he will experience, as it will probably only make his life better and happier. But maybe not. These special spirits have a lot to tell us about what makes one happy. We have a lot to learn!

So I'm so excited to share some of what we have experienced with our Angel Paxton thus far. It has been a difficult but great journey and one that we are so happy has turned out so well. I believe Paxton's story could have gone either way, and still always could, but he has been magnificently impacted by all of the prayers he has had offered in his behalf. Heaven has definitely shined on him, our Star, our Angel, and us.

This video is certainly special for many reasons, but one that must have special mention, is that the third and final song was created for Paxton, by a dear friend of our family, Hope Charissa. She is an amazing artist, singer, and songwriter, but to me, has just always been a cherished friend. I love her very much and cry every time I even THINK of the words she wrote for our family about Paxton. They touch my soul so deeply and I (and she) know- she was absolutely inspired when she wrote the words to this song. They are beautiful and I wish all of the pictures fit into her song, as every one was so perfect for her words! Thank you, Hope. The way you have blessed our family with your talent and friendship will always be a treasure! I hope one day it is "out there" for all of the other families who know their 'special' children were sent just for them, too. The last line of your song says it perfectly! I love you!

And we love you, Paxton. Thank you for blessing all of our lives.